By Esther C. Baird
First Published in the Tri-Town Transcript, Jan 19, 2018
I’m sitting here wearing a tank top and flip flops and drinking ice water. And yes, it’s cold out. Actually, you may remember this day: It’s 6 degrees outside with a foot of totally frozen snow blowing around like fine grain sandpaper on my face.
But I’m “on deck,” as they say, “they” being swim parents. That’s right: On top of everything else this year, I’ve become a swim mom.
It’s a grueling, gritty swampland of wet towels, frizzy hair, and red, burning eyes from the chlorinated air which is laced with a secondary mildewed sock smell. It’s full of volunteering at the snack stand selling granola bars and room temperature Gatorade while secretly calculating how long it would take to drive to Starbucks, and whether a mocha is worth losing your parking spot.
And I’ve loved it.
Mostly because our 10-year-old daughter loves it, which is a small miracle given it was my idea.
“You want to tryout for the YMCA swim team this year? It’s two nights a week with a few meets for fun. No pressure…” I held my breath since the first round of Mommy Suggested Activities is normally a bust.
“Sure!” she said.
And that was that. She’d never swum on a team in her life and that was cool. We showed up for practices, met other kids, and swam in a few meets. We were low key. Low stress. Low… and then she won an event. And then she won again. Suddenly our fun evening activity to stay active in the winter was a real thing. I mean, we weren’t going to the Olympics, but if she kept at it we could go to… Somerville.
Somerville was where Districts would be held. I had no idea what Districts was except as a location in the Hunger Games. I assumed we weren’t going to try and outlive all the other swim contestants with a bow and arrow or suit that caught on fire. But in order to find out, she had to qualify.
So today we came to this meet knowing it was now or never.
I encouraged her. “You’re only swimming for fun, it’s no big deal. The point is to be active and make friends so, you’ve won already!! Of course, swim your fastest and blow them out of the water — this is no time to be nice — but no pressure! Love you!”
If there is one parenting goal I can be sure I’ve achieved, it’s that my girls will grow up able to decode thinly veiled messages.
As her event was announced she smiled a nervous smile at me. She was excited and determined to cut her time.
Then, noooo!!
There was a false start, but the buzzer still sounded so my daughter and the other girls dove anyway. This created a ripple effect of pauses and uncertainty about whether the event would be restarted. Meanwhile the clock ticked. It was, in a word, a disaster.
When it became clear that the event was going to proceed, she became a human torpedo. She was hauling, but I knew the delay was going to hurt her time. And when she hit the wall and saw her time, we both knew it was not fast enough. She began to cry and I began to go into Mommy Dearest Mode.
That’s not my best mode.
I was talking too loud, I was gesturing too wildly, a crowd of officials flurried around me. I was hot and sticky and my daughter was dissolving. We weren’t supposed to care! This was just for fun!!! So much FUN!
One of her coaches came over to join the kerfluffle. “What time did she get?”
The coach looked at her paper. “But… that’s two seconds faster than the qualifying time. She’s made Districts, by a lot. We can retime her so she’s seeded correctly, but it probably doesn’t matter.”
I stared at her. I had the wrong qualifying time?? There were seeds involved??
My nerves were jangled and my daughter was still teary, so it took a moment for it all to soak in. Then I cheered, “You made it!! You’re going to Districts!! You are the fastest swimmer on the entire planet!!”
We hugged and high-fived, and I took a picture of her with her patient, possibly long-suffering, coach.
And now, though I’m probably going to flash-freeze when I walk outside, we’re headed to Districts. We hope the odds will be ever in our favor. And the shockingly competitive mom that emerged from nowhere, can just have fun!