First published in the Tri Town Transcript Mar 27, 2017
I found myself standing in the frozen, slush mud. I stared down at my boots. They were untied. Also my long down coat had a hole in it that hadn’t been there the day before, and now fluff was floating out of it in a way that would have been whimsical if it wasn’t 3 a.m. There is nothing whimsical at that hour. I was cold and tired and so extremely unshowered.
And if you must know, I had pee on me.
But it was fine. I was totally fine. It. Would. Be. Fine. I stared over to the side, where lying in the frozen grass tundra, under the starlight, sat . . . a puppy.
[Excuse me a second, said puppy just stepped in his water bowl and knocked it over and now there is a puddle on the floor that he’s running through and I don’t want him to get too excited by it because then he’ll pee and I’ll never know which is water and which is pee and I’ll have to mop the whole floor!]
That’s right regular reader. Casa Baird is bigger by one. We are no longer a family of four with merely one giant dog named Blue Ears. Because why have one bear sized dog when you can have two? Allow me to introduce Moose, who at a mere 8 weeks has entirely upended our lives but captured our hearts.
[Uh, hang on Regular Reader, Moose is biting the zipper on my sweatshirt and slowly unzipping it. Be forewarned I’m wearing the workout shirt I wore many hours ago (if you count yesterday as many hours). I’ve actually lost the way to my shower. Really I haven’t seen the second floor of our house in days.]
Moose is a Bernese Mountain dog puppy and he’s where all the whimsy is currently residing. He looks like an L.L. Bean catalog puppy. When I take him to the girl’s school we draw more crowds than a free candy display. And what’s not to love? He is sweet and loves his new family and is trying very hard to learn the rules of life. As my fellow Berner friend said about her latest puppy, “it’s a good thing they’re cute.” And they are. So cute. And cuteness goes a long way . . .
[Hang on, Moose is chewing the table. Though, I mean, it’s supposed to look distressed . . . can’t I just let this count, as a chew toy?!? His real toys are across the room and this is the first time I’ve sat down in hours, my coffee is still lukewarm and I just want to drink it before it’s cold!]
It’s all going really well, I mean you know, as far as having a young puppy goes. Sure, I showed up to a meeting at the girl’s school where the other moms, in their cute outfits, all took notes and were focused. I basically took a nap on the headmaster’s couch. Getting out of the house is tricky because of potty training and, oh . . .
[Excuse me, it’s been 30 minutes so it’s time to take him out again to go potty. Wait NO!!!! WHY??? He just peed in front of my eyes on his little snuggly towel in the kitchen!! WHY!!!?? It’s only been thirty minutes!!! Now he’s chewing the paper towels I’m using to clean up!!! Ugh he got some, and I have to stick my hand down his throat to grab them while he lacerates my fingers with his needle sharp puppy teeth. It’s 10:30 in the morning, is it too early to have a drink and watch “The Bachelor”!?!?!?]
Blue seems to be warming up to Moose. When Moose jumps on him and chews his fur and gets hairballs and then runs off to shred a rug or two, Blue sighs and looks at me with a reproachful look but he will gamely play with him and even shares his toys . . .sometimes.
[Moose just collapsed under the table in a dead sleep. Better people than I would use this window of serenity to clean the disaster zone that is the kitchen. Or do laundry. Or catch up on work, or their daughter’s class birthday party which is one week away. But I’m going to just check out my couch and make sure it still works if I’m lying down . . . ]
And so Tri-Towners, if you see Blue and I in the meadow with a smaller version of him leaping and jumping and running off with the leash . . . that’s Moose. Terrorizing first our kitchen, then our yard, and soon all the Tri-Towns where we can all agree . . . it’s a good thing puppies are cute!