Posts Categorized: The Baird Facts

Roll-Ing through the end of summah

First published in the Tri-Town Transcript Aug 27, 2015 

Psst, it’s still summer. Maybe by mere days, possibly minutes, but those back to school catalogs are still better used as kindling in a beach bonfire. I refuse to be smothered in plaid and pre-sharpened #2 pencils until the last possible second.

Since it’s still summer, I want to talk about God’s food group. Obviously I mean the lobster roll. Lobstaaah.I realize that you can eat lobster year-round, but waterfront restaurants and chilled seafood are less appealing when you can’t actually be outside. By the water. Because it’s buried under 100 inches of snow. Summer is when lobster fulfills its culinary destiny….
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Who Am I??

First published in the Tri-Town Transcript Aug 12, 2015

Hello Regular Readers, I hope your summer is going swimmingly and you are enjoying this heat! My hair is frizzy, my legs stick to the car seat, there is a sweat crease down my back and I am absolutely OK with every meltable moment. When we returned from vacation our air conditioning was broken. The house was like a tomb buried in the sands of the most scorching desert. But did I complain? I did not. This is the summer of our great content….
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Prepping for Vacation

First Published in the Tri-Town Transcript on Jul. 16, 2015

It’s the week before our summer vacation, or what I call, prep week. You know, the week you need before vacation to properly over-prepare and hyper-stress the family. This way any vacation, anywhere at all, will be relaxing by comparison.
You can ignore prep week, but then you’ll spend 85 percent of your vacation in the local Walmart trying to cobble together s’mores from a center aisle display set up for the influx of camping families who will stampede through like so many rabid bears leaving behind only one chocolate bar and some sliced white bread that perhaps you could pass off as a graham cracker if you let it sit out overnight to harden. 
Or . . .you can prep in a frenzied and strung out way and cut the Walmart trips down to a mere 60 percent and have a wine spritzer at 11:30 a.m. Why? Because you’re frenzied and strung out, and now additionally you are in the woods being eaten by bugs, but, you are on vacation!
…
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Swinging into Summer Coolness

First published in the Tri-Town Transcript on Jul. 1, 2015

BOXFORD We’ve started our summer off with a heavy dose of the Giant Sparkle, our trusty (except in the winter when it’s banished ) work horse minivan. We’ve already road tripped to upstate New York, Philly, the Jersey Shore and . . . back again.

But one of the trips was a more local. Just a mere hour north lies a land that divides parents from their children in a way that even the growing tween music intrusion into our home does not.
 I speak of Canobie Lake Park….
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A Race Across the Green

First published in the Tri-Town Transcript Jun. 18, 2015

BOXFORD Last week our family was playing golf – – it’s a thing you can do when the ground is covered with grass and not snow. (How long am I going to be traumatized by this past winter, Regular Readers? How long!?!)

At any rate, we like to play golf together as a family.
 Well, let’s parse that out: technically my husband loves to play golf. Our eldest daughter likes to play certain holes, sometimes, but varies on whether she likes to drive and putt, or just putt.
 Our youngest daughter really likes the fancy little cover she has for her single putter; also she has a shiny, nearly translucent, pink ball. She likes that a lot too. And me? I like driving around in the golf cart and parking in sunbeams, but I don’t own any clubs, not even one with a fun cover….
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Two truths and a lie, a school end game

First published Jun. 10, 2015 at 2:14 PM in the Tri Town Transcript

BOXFORD It’s June. Let’s celebrate by playing two truths and a lie. You guess which of these statements is true and which is the lie.
First: I can’t sign one more form, homework paper, or test for my girls. Forgery is where I’m at.
Our dog Blue Ears is more likely to sign their homework than I am.
Second: I allowed a clearly non-urgent appendicitis ‘scare’ to be the reason that my youngest daughter and I snuck off to Starbucks in the middle of the school day for a cookie and a latte.
Third: I threw away three dinners this month because I can’t read one more thing, including overly perky recipes, and as a result I made meals toxic to humans (and dogs)….
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Chaperoning A Monumental School Field Trip

Originally Published in the Tri Town Transcript, May. 22, 2015

So it’s almost June. I know that because I could write this column, with my finger, in the pollen that is covering my kitchen counter. I’m not complaining – – pollen is messy and hard to breath, but you know what else pollen is? Not snow. I rest my case.

Given all the pre-summer stirrings, I was awash not just in pollen, but in happy weather parental glee, which morphed into chaperoning our eight year old daughter’s field trip to the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum….
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It’s All In The Details

Originally Published in the Tri Town Transcript, May. 01, 2015

“I got your car detailed while you were away.” My husband said to me.

“Great!” I said, hoping I sounded thankful and enthusiastic.
But I was nervous. Had the interior of my car broken the spirit of an unsuspecting garage guy by having, possibly, too many details?
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Coping Without Modern Machines

Originally Published in the Tri Town Transcript, Mar. 26, 2015

Well, there have been a lot of challenges to endure this month – the month that was supposed to bring us out of winter. But I’m not talking about the ongoing slush and flood fest. No, I’m talking about grimmer things.


For starters, our Keurig broke leaving me to brew my morning coffee in a traditional, sloooow, drip-brew pot. There are at least ten million steps I have to take, and then, this pot turns off after only two hours. It should go without saying that I drink coffee all day long. At hour two, I am only just beginning my daily caffeine intake….
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